Sunday, August 29, 2010

Howto wake up refreshed every day

Hi there, lurkers! This is about howto get a good night's sleep. Sounds too good to be true? Follow these simple steps and you too can wake up feeling like a million bucks every day!

Step 1. Changing your sheets. 
Sounds easy enough, right? Well, for a lot of people it's not. You see, son, many people are under the impression that they can save a lot of time by using the same sheets for more than a week. They are wrong!

By changing your sheets once a week and washing them, you're killing off all of those little dust mites that bite and prick you in the middle of the night, waking you slightly and causing unsightly sores, generally under the thinnest part of your beard or other body hairs.

So chance your sheets once a week. BUT WAIT! IT GETS BETTER.

Step 2. Lysol! 

This next step is absolutely CRUCIAL to obtain a clean bed and good night's sleep.
lysolEvery time you change your sheets, use Lysol spray on your mattress. Then put the bottom sheet on the bed and use Lysol on that. Then put the top sheet on an use Lysol on that. Spray Lysol on your pillows and pillow cases. And lastly, your comforter. Why?

Lysol kills 99.9% of germs. It says so right on the bottle. Plus, it comes in a few different-smelling varieties, so your room doesn't smell like pure Lysol. Get the namebrand stuff too... none of this Dollar Store garbage! If you change your sheets once a week and Lysol your bed once a week, a bottle should last you around 2 months. $3 for two months of degemrination? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me!

Step 3: Making your bed 

Not surprisingly, this step is usually what people hate the most. Did you know it takes an average of one minute and thirty seconds for my mother to make a bed in the morning? And that's a queen-sized bed with sheets and a comforter. Tuck in your sheets on one side, leave the other a little loose. If you make your bed every day (and I mean EVERY day), it feels magical to sleep in it. Take the extra two minutes and make your bed, right when you wake up, right after you shower or after breakfast. Find the time to do it and just do it!
Or ask your mom to do it for you, or whatever. But if you want it to be done the good way, do it yourself.

Step 4: Know your sheets 
Egyptian Cotton bedsheets
In general, you're going to have Egyptian Cotton bedsheets. That's fine, but the thread count is what really matters. Ask for sheets for Christmas, because you want 650 thread count or higher, and those aren't cheap. Generally, at your local bedding store, you can find some quality 640-thread count sheets for around fifty wing-wangs, but some might charge more. Save up some money for them, and take care of them well. Which brings be to the final step.

Step 5: Take care of your bed

Allright you bum, you finally have a nice bed now; it's made, it's Lysol'd, it looks awesome. Don't sit in it to play video games. Use a chair. Don't smoke or eat in your bed. Use the kitchen or bathroom or something. Your bed has only one purpose: SLEEP. Treat it as such. Do not stack your dirty clothes on your bed. Don't use it to count your coins or wrap presents. Your bed is sacret. You spend one-third of your life in here. Take care of it, and it shall receive you well.
homer simpson sleep

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